Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
