last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
