See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
