i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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