College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
