Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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