Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Randomize
