Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
