Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
