I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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