What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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