Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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