i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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