fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
im having a threesome with these popsicles
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
