I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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