I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
