I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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