We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
The air taste purple.
Randomize
