i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
He has the fingertips of a God
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
