I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
