I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Randomize
