the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
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