hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I understand Curling. That high.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
It was a blind-side dick pic.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
