why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
It's rum buckets o'clock
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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