woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
