also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
