You're completely useless in the revolution.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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