I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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