I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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