What did we do last night that was yellow?
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
