I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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