her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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