i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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