Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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