You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
