I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize