I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
