If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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