porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
