He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
