So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
