Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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