is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
In other news, I just burned my penis
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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