Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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