just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
