nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
