Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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