Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
is that a dick in a sweater?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
