Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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