So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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