I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
