Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
