oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize