oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
