It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Randomize
