i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
