yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
