i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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