nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
