small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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