I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Someone signed my nipple.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
