White coat. Heels.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
