yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
